Male and Female Energy
It is important to understand the difference between male sexual energy (yang) and female sexual energy (yin). The Taoists understood that men and women are meant to balance, as two opposite halves of a universal whole. This means that we need to respect our differences and understand that it is natural to feel different and to be different. Without this awareness men and women are often at odds with one another.
Many of our struggles in relationships come about because we expect each other to be the same. I hear many people complain that their partner does not see things the way they do, or does not do things the way they do. It is important not to fight and struggle with our differences but to make them work in our favor, creating balance and harmony. If we forget this truth we are easily upset and frustrated with the opposite sex. Yet, when we respect this difference, love blossoms like a well nurtured garden. Sexual Reflexology is designed to harmonize these male and female challenges on an energetic level.
Sexually, men are like fire, quick to get hot and quick to explode. Women, on the other hand, are like water, heating up slowly and staying hot longer. This is the reason the male Taoists use a variety of techniques to satisfy a women sexually. Women need foreplay, to be caressed tenderly and embraced with passion. This way, the water--the feminine sexual energy--will boil, and energy will be exchanged. Thus, the Taoist saying, “Never sail your boat in a rocky river,” meaning, that the woman needs to be aroused and lubricated before sexual intercourse.
In cultivating sexual energy, men learn to control ejaculation and achieve a full body orgasm rather than merely a genital orgasm. By learning to transform sperm into Chi, men can become better lovers, more vibrant and youthful, and are able to activate the compassionate energy in the heart. For women, cultivating sexual energy is a way to transform blood into Chi. Transforming sexual energy is directly related to the menstrual cycle. From the Taoist exercises, this transformation leads to an abundance of energy, balanced emotions and internal power.
Emotionally, women are like fire and men are like water. It is very easy for women to express their emotions, to get excited, to cry and to feel. For men it is more challenging to be in touch with the heart center. This is how men and women balance emotionally and sexually. Women open and heat the emotional center or the heart center in men and men help open or bring the fire into the sexual center for women. The goal of the Taoist practice is to create this harmonious and flowing exchange of energy.
This is revealed physically by the fact that men project from the sexual center (the penis) and women project from the heart center (the breasts). Projection is the yang or the fire quality of energy. This demonstrates that women are yang emotionally and men are yang sexually. These physical features reveal the energetic and emotional nature of men and women.
Yin and Yang
The tractor (yang) and the lake (yin) are the energy fields of the man and of the woman. We are talking here about opposites. When the man is hot, the woman is cold. When the woman is hot, the man is cold. So you have a real communication problem. When you’re very hot the person with whom you are trying to communicate is cold. Men and women have different types of energy molecularly. It’s very hard to interact unless you have a clear understanding of your own energy field and how it interacts with the people around you, especially the energy field of the opposite gender. Getting this understanding opens up communication, which is the key to any relationship.
“The tractor and the lake” exemplifies what I mean by this difference. When you drive a tractor into a lake, you get stuck. And what happens when the tractor tries to fight the lake? It sinks deeper. Who is stronger, the tractor or the lake? Obviously, the lake is stronger. It not only has its own energy, but it also absorbs all of the energy the tractor exerts. Now the tractor is active energy and the lake is passive energy. The lake is the yin energy or the feminine energy and the tractor is the yang or the male energy.
The key message in “the tractor and the lake” is the ability of the lake to yield to the tractor; and the way of the Tao is to yield because the Tao is feminine. You find this in every aspect. Every time you want to overcome something you yield to its energy and you use its energy for your own benefit and welfare.